One of the ‘things’ that I have experienced as a result of being sexually abused is the feeling of having my safety taken from me at a young age. This can bring up so many repeated patterns as a teenager and an adult that are hard to keep a handle on. At times you feel you are taking 5 steps forward and then 6 steps backwards. It’s exhausting, especially when you live in that story of ‘why me?’. It’s like you are living through the same lessons, but always in a slightly different way.
What If I told you that ‘the story’ is a load of crap! That at any given moment you can change your story and you can take back your ‘safety’ once and for all. It’s you, your story is all up to YOU! You are responsible for creating the life that you want and no one else can take that from you. It might be that you aren’t ready to hear this yet, but you need to know that it’s all up to YOU!
A lovely friend and mentor recently remided me that its OK to feel safe. Infact everything that I thought was going wrong in my life came back to how safe I felt. It was like a lightbulb moment. In that moment I realised that I need to develop some new habits to bring me back to who I am authentically. Here are some habits I started working on which have made a huge difference to how I feel about myself, and more importantly how I feel about the world I live in.
Rituals are a beautiful way of taking time for yourself, almost like a self-inventory as such. Start with putting aside some time during the day for you. Use this time to meditate, pray, exercise, write, get your bare feet out on some grass or sand. . . It’s really up to you. There is no right or wrong here, you just have to commit to some time every day. Start with 5 minutes and work your way from there.
To give love (and I know that if you are reading this, you are the type of person that wants to make a difference in the world), you first have to give yourself some love. Be kind to yourself, get rid of the ‘inner critic’ and just love yourself more. It’s not hard and it isn’t egotistical, it’s simply honoring yourself by loving yourself first. To love and be loved is an inner strength that you can use to change the world, or you could sit there and judge everyone, yourself and do nothing. It’s your choice. But the world needs you to bring it! Bring your A-Game.
Read this carefully. . . you don’t need to be everything to everyone. This is something that I really struggled with growing up, I found it really hard to say no to anything. I had no boundaries around how people treated my body, my mind or my spirit, infact I had little respect for myself especially when it came to physical relationships. I was so eager to find acceptance and love and didn’t realise that really comes from within. The more we respect the boundaries we set for our selves the more other people respect our boundaries.