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When Is It A Right Time To Talk About It?

When Is It A Right Time To Talk About It?

A question I am asked all the time is, ‘why doesn’t anyone talk about it?’

Let me tell you, there is no better time than now!

Right now, let’s talk about it… remove all the bullcrap and really talk about the good, the bad and mostly the ugly. The ugly hangs around for a while, but eventually you will find the beauty.

It’s worth it, it’s painful… but it’s so worth it. -YOU ARE WORTH IT!.

I can spark up conversation at any given moment. I could be doing anything, from pushing my child on a swing at the park or attending a business gathering, there is a magic that happens. Let me explain.

Over the years I found I was having a similar conversation with women and men. I wondered what they saw in me to open up? I knew that really it had nothing to do with me. I was a stranger to them but I knew how to be an instrument of something bigger than me, in that moment, I moved all my own crap aside (AKA ego) and was able to give hope around the conversation. There is a way foward and a way to see with a completely new persepective. I was able to listen, to really hear and understand. It was deep, and in that moment there is healing, it’s simple and not complicated.

Let’s quickly talk about the ego. Marianne Williamson and Gabrielle Bernstein talk a good talk on ego. Ego holds us back, it tricks us into thinking we are not good enough. It keeps us small and in paralyses. Ego is a whole other conversation. But for now, let’s just say ego is like that little voice in your mind that tells you ‘you can’t do it’ it tricks you into thinking you are better than others, that you are not as good as others, it tells you that you are separate. The truth is we are all one, every action causes a chain reaction. With ripples that can be felt further than we can see.

I know what it’s like in that moment… it could go one way or another. It’s not always clear, but let me tell you there is a way through. There is a need to get the rubbish out of your head and share with someone, just to feel a sense of normality. At times you feel a complete sense of uselessness, numbness, chaos. It’s a temporary feeling, and the secret is to walk through this, keep going you are almost there. You will feel safe, whole and loved. Don’t get me wrong, you are not alone in this feeling. . . You are safe. I am pretty sure you are normal. . . I hear this often, ‘surely I am not normal if I think like this’ Yes you are, you are perfect and you are exactly where you need to be.

Within your own healing comes a change in perspective. It starts small and tumbles into something much larger and freeing.

So let’s talk about it, I am pretty sure you are curious now. Let me warn you that it’s not a beautiful subject, however the beauty is in the freedom of those that are surviving, and yes I use the word surviving, because at times that’s what you feel you are doing.

One step further; this topic is not for the faint hearted, and if you feel that you need more help, then please reach out to me. I can help you….. don’t be scared. The fact that you are here and reading this shows me that you are a life changer, either you are changing your life or you help others to live the life they deserve. Either way…. Lets go LARGE!

Sexual abuse, it aint a pretty subject, but let me tell you that the stats are pretty high, let’s have a look.

1 in 3 girls are sexually abused by the time they are 16 and 1 in 7 boys are sexually abused by the time they reach adulthood in New Zealand…….. and we aren’t alone, in most countries the statistics are very similar.

This is a crazy statistic! Are you reading this??? How is this happening to our beautiful children?

I have something to say about this and I’m not going to stop. Someone needs to talk about it!


Imagination -Our Biggest Gift

Imagination -Our Biggest Gift


Imagination is one of our greatest gifts. It’s limitless and allows us to think and dream bigger. Imagination helped me to escape from the hurt and pain I felt growing up. It helped me to see a life that was bigger than what surrounded me at the time.

I found myself imagining a world that was safe and secure. A world where I knew there was stability and I knew what to expect. I often imagined myself as a grown-up, making my own decisions and having the choice of what I would allow in my world and what I wouldn’t allow.

Yes, that was me. . .Growing up I was a daydreamer, I spent hours gazing into the horizon imagining what my life would be like. I imagined a life where I felt happy, fulfilled and where my outer world would reflect the inner strength that I imagined I would have.

There are moments that I remember where my imagination has materialised. I share many of these moments in my book, but I can share with you one moment that really gets me excited. As a young girl, I used to sit under a palm tree and read my Louise Hay book, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra and Shakti Gawain books. I spent a lot of time under this tree. The place that I sat, I looked out to a beautiful lagoon with a walkway that surrounded it. I would watch so many people running, walking and laughing with friends. I would also see parents walking with their babies. They looked so happy and I knew I wanted some of that when I ‘grew up’.

If we fast forward 20 years I had just had my 4th baby, and I was walking with a lovely group of women from my Antenatal group. We were laughing about an incident that involved one of us exposing more than we wanted while feeding our baby. Then in that moment, I realised that I was walking my baby in a pram around the lagoon and I looked back and saw that young girl sitting under the tree. I looked at that girl and smiled and told her it is all going to work out. There was so much healing in that moment and I acknowledged the work I had done on myself to arrive in that moment.

Imagination is fierce, some people won’t act on an idea which was born from their imagination, while others will create greatness.

Which will you choose?

Imagination is more important than knowledge, for knowledge is limited to all we know now and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world and all there ever will be to know and understand. Albert Einstein